Posted on 2007-04-24, updated at 2007-05-27. By anonymous.
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When I published Advanced Cunnilingus Techniques and Secrets, I included a
comment about perhaps doing a fellatio counterpart. Well, I've gotten quite a
few requests, and demands, that follow through, especially with the How to
Swallow without it Tasting Bad part. So, OK, here it is...
On the other hand, it was the number of unsolicited questions on the subject
that caused me to write Advanced Anal Sex Techniques, for those of you who want
to know about that subject.
There are two ways one could become expert enough at fellatio to write this
page: By being really good at it, or by having been subjected to the attentions
of people who were even better at it. Consider me the latter.
As I've said before, the best part of sex is giving pleasure to your partner.
But #2 on my personal list, behind going down on my lover, is being gone down
upon myself. And I've had a couple of partners who were mind-blowingly good at
this. I made a point of learning what it is they did, and how, as well as having
simply learned what felt best on me.
First, everything here is a generalization. "Most guys" means most guys, not all
guys. With that in mind...
Most guys are very different than women, when it comes to what they enjoy.
With women, starting out very slowly is more important. With guys, there is a
much better chance that the guy will be impatient, and there is most
definitely a lower overall standard as to what most guys will enjoy.
When starting out, the best bet is to start slowly, and indirectly. Men tend
to be more visual than women, stereotypically, so part of taking your time
would include almost touching...kissing around the rest of his body (depending
on what's accessible under the circumstances), caressing, but not necessarily
actually touching his erotic zones, yet.
When doing this, remember the "many guys get impatient" rule. The longer you
can drag out each step (while still making progress), the better, but some
guys don't want much of this at all, and if you pay attention it should become
Unfortunately, another general difference is that guys are less expressive.
This is a shame, because it keeps them from enjoying it as much, as well as
making it harder for you to tell what works with them. I cases like that,
talking about them perhaps being more expressive, especially by telling them
it excites you (hopefully this is true), is the best bet...but only if your
relationship (or their personality) is secure enough to allow it.
The other day, on Don & Mike (radio gods), a woman caller bragged that her
nickname was "eight seconds", meaning the time it took her to bring a guy to
orgasm from fellatio. While a sizable portion of guys do actually like that,
it is not the way to give the best orgasm. In fact, it's the worst way.
Remember that some guys do prefer it, though.
See, the longer a guy is "tortured" (as one of the best fellatio artists I
know puts it), the stronger his orgasm will be. "Tortured" means "kept
sexually excited, and stimulated, but not actually allowed to have an orgasm".
DO NOT be afraid to use your hands. If he's not one of those get-it-over-quick
(GIOQ) types, there are many things you simply cannot do with your mouth, but
can with your hands. Specific techniques in the advanced section.
Even among eroginous zones, don't stick only to the penis. Some guys have more
sensitive nipples than most women, for example (I'm one of those guys, in
The scrotum/gonads (I mostly use technical terms, just to keep things
consistent...I can write great erotic literature, but that's not what this
article's about) are also essential, if he's not a GIOQ type.
The cheeks of the butt, on both men and women, actually have some automatic
sexual response linked to them, especially from repeated pressure. This is
because our distant ancestors often had sex "doggy style", and so a patting
sensation on the butt was a good standard signal for hormones to start
moving. Guys have it too, for the same reason they have nipples. A good butt
massage, or perhaps gently rhythmic pressure, can really get some guys
The anus should be carefully mentioned here. I say carefully because, of
course, a lot of guys feel uncomfortable with attention to it. But it is an
erotic zone, especially because it includes the prostate gland. But more,
again, in the advanced section.
Once he can't take it any more, or you can't, the question of spitting versus
swallowing comes up. Some people, in an attempt to not offend or upset, claim
that it's not really a big deal. But it is, overall. Of course plenty of guys
really don't care, or don't even like their lover swallowing, while even more
haven't had the chance to find out the difference. But for most guys
swallowing makes a (positive) difference. This isn't just because it feels
better, or more intimate. It's also, perhaps even mainly, because spitting, or
evading the ejaculation altogether, brings on (even if they consciously know
it's not the case) a sense of rejection (conscious or subconscious). For a
woman, imagine a guy starting to go down on you and then making sputtering
noises and wiping your juices frantically from his tongue and lips. You might
find it a bit disappointing, if not just plain hurtful, wouldn't you. If
you're a guy reading this, then you don't need an example, you've probably had
it done to you. But most guys are used to lovers not swallowing, so I only
bring this up so we've made clear which way's more likely to work "best".
Don't forget that, though guys have a different kind of insecurity than women,
they do have frail egos...they just hide it more. So excited smiles/faces and
noises can, with some guys, make a big difference in how much they enjoy it.
Condoms This is your call. The odds of the blow-ee catching HIV/AIDS from the
blow-er are probably about the same as if you were shaking hands. The odds of
the person sucking/swallowing catching it are way less than the odds of
transmitting HIV/AIDS by coitus, and astronimically less than catching it from
anal sex, which makes up probably more instances of transmission than all
other forms of transmission combined. In fact, there is little evidence at all
of HIV/AIDS being transmitted to someone who was performing fellatio, aside
from a few people who had a form of gum disease that resulted in a lot of open
cuts in their mouth. Oh, it's worth note that you get tiny cuts in your mouth
when you brush your teeth, though they heal in minutes, so you might want to
avoid brushing right before fellatio. Try chewing gum instead, I guess. Heh.
Swallowing (without it tasting really bad)
This is possible. In fact, only a mental barrier stands between those who
"can't" and those who can. But you have to know the technique. Oh, I should
point out that a large minority of people enjoy the taste, either for the flavor
or because bringing that kind of pleasure to their lover is so wonderful.
But a larger number think it can taste pretty bad. This depends a lot on the guy
himself (each guy tastes different, some very much so), and also on what they
eat (rumor has it that fruit makes it taste better, and fatty foods make it
taste worse, as do some spices).
The trick is to not taste it at all. This sounds too simple to be true, but:
When a guy starts to cum, the typical response is to try to pace it a bit... to
hold it in one's mouth for a moment before swallowing. This is the only reason
one tastes it.
Instead, just start swallowing, immediately and hard. If you can get te tip into
the back of your mouth without having a gag reflect problem (more on that
later), the ejaculation will go completely down your throat without you tasting
it at all. All that's left is a vague aftertaste, and even that is much weaker
than if you had allowed it to stay in your mouth. This technique fast-swallowing
actually feels better, to a lot of guys, than if you had paced it normally.
Deep Throating (overcoming the gag reflex)
A penis in the back of one's mouth sometimes makes them "gag". So does a finger,
or a banana, actually.
I put quotes around "gag" because it's sorta an illusion. The "trick" to not
"gagging" is to not interrupt the reflex. What, technically, is happening is
that your body is trying to swallow, and a finger, penis, or banana doesn't
cooperate. Some people can learn to just resist/ignore the reflex, but even
better is to turn it into a real swallow. I believe (don't try it at home)
that's how sword swallowers do it. Certainly it's how "deep throat" technique
people do it. It's really just that simple. When you would have felt like
gagging, you swallow. I, personally, have confirmed this with a banana, and a
This isn't just for swallowing (which it helps). It can feel very, very good for
Texture (don't just keep repeating a single motion)
But don't forget texture. OK, the largest minority of guys doesn't care at all
about variety (in a single session), he just wants rhythmic pumping. But in that
case most of these techniques are wasted on him, anyway. But the rest of guys, a
majority, are in various categories of liking at least some change at some point
during a specific fellatio session. I should bring up the texture thing at the
end of every section, but to save time and space I'll just hope you remember
this paragraph. Switch from one technique to another every so often during a
session, if he seems to respond well to that. Try to make the change smooth and
natural, don't just stop one thing and start another. And we're not talking
about switching every few seconds...more like every few minutes, maybe even
Various Other Oral Techniques
Sucking really hard
Some guys hate this, but some are amazed at how good it feels. This is
especially good as a "texture" (variety) change during a blowjob. This doesn't
just mean sucking at one constant pressure...to really amaze him, try sucking
hard just on the out-stroke, or just on the in-stroke (a more subtle effect),
or actually pausing any motion while doing it.
You may think this is obvious, but it's not, really. Especially since many
guys seem to just expect a rhythmic head-bobbing sorta suck-fest. But licking
is another technique that can be surprisingly effective. Especially at two
points - Early on, before you've actually touched his penis and are (in
theory) exciting him by working up to it. Licking is a great way to make first
contact. The other time is when you've prolonged things until he's so hard and
excited that breathing on him seems to get him close. Trace the lines and
textures of his head (glans), down the ridge of his shaft (the side away from
his belly/abdomen, more on that later), his balls (more on that later), and
even the exact point where the inside of his thigh meets the skin of his
scrotum, on each side. That last spot almost deserves its own section, because
it can be very effective. Especially, again, early on before you've focused on
his penis, or after he's really, really close. That area can also be sucked
on, at other times...in some men this is very stimulating.
Giving him the shaft
The line down the shaft of his penis, on the side opposite where his penis
would touch his abdomen if pressed against it, is one of the best-kept
secrets. This is because its effect isn't obvious at first. But firm, rhythmic
stimulation at some point along the line down his penis on that side (where
exactly it is depends on the person) can have a startling, strong effect.
Depending on the situation, this can be done with fingers, the tongue, or firm
sucking (just on that area).
Having a ball
This varies so much from guy to guy that it's kinda hard to nail down. Some
guys are almost indifferent to their balls/scrotum being given attention, or
are even uncomfortable with it...but more find it at least a nice change, some
find it fantastic. Various techniques include sucking a whole "ball" into
one's mouth, and gently fondling it with the tongue, while it's there. This
can't be done for very long without becoming uncomfortable, though. Or licking
about firmly at them when not in the mouth, or to suck at the skin itself.
I don't think I'll go much into analingus/anal sex. That would probably
require a whole separate article. (OK, I got enough questions about it that I
decided to write an article on it: Advanced Anal Sex Techniques) Suffice it to
say that a minority of people find this very stimulating, and technically it
should be, considering the proximity to vaginal sexual nerves (women) and the
prostate(men)...but most people are little (or more) uncomfortable with it,
performing or receiving.
But, nearby, one has the base of the scrotum, going in a line toward the anus.
There is a spot along there which can be licked, or better yet gently pushed
with a finger in a rhythmic fashion, that stimulates the prostate. This allows
one to avoid the whole butt thing, if they're uncomfortable with it, and still
get a little of the almost magical effect that stimulating the prostate can
have. This may need to be something done rhythmically for more than a little
while, with the penis being stimulated at the same time, to really work well.
Gentle, but firm.
A lot of the best techniques involve hands. If you or he insists on sticking to
purely oral, then a lot of amazing stuff is missed.
First, there's obviously caressing. This can be done all over the body, and not
just during the initial build-up phase. This is also a great thing to do during
pauses, when prolonging things when he's too close to orgasm too soon.
The Cock Pull
One really effective trick for direct attention to the penis is to use both
hands, but only in one direction. Saliva may be enough for this, depending on
the situation...but some additional lubricant, preferably oil-based, may be
necessary. Starting at the base, slide a hand up toward the tip, placing the
other hand by the base. Just before it comes off of the tip, start the other
hand moving up from the base toward the tip. While doing that, put the other
hand down on the base. Keep this up, slowly getting faster. This works great
with a really hard penis (and it's so different/stimulating that he'll
probably have to look (or ask, if it's dark) to see what's going on)...but
it's also a great trick for someone who's not erect yet (or even having
trouble with it). This, obviously, is the one sure way to have a pumping-type
stimulation whether hard or not. It's my understanding that this works
miracles on some people who, say, are using blood pressure medication or have
some other erectile problem. The opposite works, too, though only with an
erect penis. I mean starting on the top and sliding down to the base, starting
the other hand on the tip before the first finishes, et cetera, back and
If you want to really amaze him, and have him trying to find out what you're
doing, try this - gently wrap a thumb and index finger around his nuts, to
pull them (again, gently) away from his body slightly, until you have a slight
sort of surface tension on the "end" (spot farthest from his body), a bit like
a bulging drum. Then gently (OK, with a very few people it can be more
forceful, but work your way up to it) run your tongue in a circle around that
"end" area. If one right (and it's hard to get just right), it creates a
really amazing sensation. This won't get most people to orgasm, but it does
feel really good. With a few people you can even use your fingertip. Or
fingernail, though to me that feels a bit too much like a knife.
Hands are also a good backup plan for when your mouth tires. The best tactic is
make switching back and forth a normal part of your technique, so it's not
obvious if/when you do need to take a rest break for your mouth.
OK, there's a ton more I could write...but hey, there's also a lot I didn't
include in Advanced Cunnilingus Techniques. I'll probably get back and spruce
both of them up, eventually.
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